Belonging
BELONGING IN: Peer Groups and in School
Non age-specific ideas for parents to help children who struggle to “belong” within peer groups:
- Observe your child interacting with other children – Watching your child to see how s/he interacts will help you pinpoint how best to help.
- Plan how to help – Once you’ve observed or learned about areas your child struggles with, plan how you want to coach your child towards more success and less struggling.
- Be flexible with your plan to help – be prepared to change and modify as you go along.
Depending on the problem areas, try the following:
- Help your child be involved with activities they already have skills and an interest in.
- Encourage your child to spend time with other children s/he already has a good relationship with.
- Encourage your child to have friends from a variety of places-school, after school activities, church, scouts, park district programs, etc… This will help your child to feel less isolation if s/he is struggling socially in one place as they will know they have other friends in other places.
- Encourage your child to follow their interest and skill level regarding sports. Not everyone is equipped for competitive play-don’t forget about sports, which can be done independently such as martial arts or running/track.
- Describe positive social behaviors when coaching your child. As you see them improving and doing social behaviors well – let your child know! Offer genuine praise and excitement towards the improvement you are seeing.
- Remember, most children will struggle socially at different points in their development. There are many wonderful resources to help – contact your pastor, youth minister or director of religious education, ask the school counselor, go to the library or search the Internet for information.