Child's Core Needs

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You Are Here : The More You Know >> Child's Core Needs

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

LOVE is important all year long. Children who feel loved and cared for are healthier, do better in school and are more likely to make good choices. Showing someone you love them is easy. Love can be communicated in a word, a touch, or a smile. It doesn’t have to cost money, it just has to come from the heart. Here are 20 suggestions for showing your children and your family that you love them.(In recognition of Prevent Child Abuse Illinois’ 20th Anniversary)

20 Ways to Say “I Love You!”

1. Say “I love you” to each member of your family, every day.

2. Give a hug.

3. Play together and laugh a lot.

4. Fix a favorite meal and serve it on a special plate.

5. Write a “Thank You” note just to say thank you for who they are.

6. Watch a movie together and share a bowl of popcorn.

7. Spend time everyday listening to your child.

8. Place or hang family photos where everyone can see them.

9. Create a “Smile box” where you can leave special notes, pictures, cards or small gifts for each other.

10. Listen to music together.

11. Find time to share your hobbies and interests.

12. Plan a special day together.

13. Put notes in lunch boxes, backpacks or under pillows.

14. Have a Valentine’s party with homemade cookies and cards.

15. Make pancakes in the shape of hearts.

16. Pamper someone for a day.

17. Respect feelings and opinions, even when you don’t agree.

18. Say “Please” and “Thank you”.

19. Make a list of 20 ways your family shows love to each other, and put it on the refrigerator.

20. Love them no matter what!

Source: Prevent Child Abuse Illinois www.preventchildabuseillinois.org

There are many basic needs of a child beyond food, shelter, and clothing. It is our repsonsibility as parents and caregivers to provide these needs. Experiences and environmental conditions are essential to optimal child growth and development. Meeting children’s basic needs teaches them that they are valued, helps them to develop trust, decreases stress, and decreases the likelihood of developmental and behavioral problems.

Belonging

Making wholesome connections and relationships in the school environment with other children, teachers, and administrators is important to children of all ages. Research shows that a sense of healthy belonging is essential to developing a child's growth, maturity, and exercise of responsible freedom. When alienation and isolation replaces belonging, children are at risk for destructive and self-destructive behaviors such as substance abuse, eating disorders, and gang involvement.

Observe your child interacting with other children then help your child with areas they struggle with. Help your child be involved with activites they already have skills and an interest in. Encourage your child to spend time with other children they already have a good relationship with. Also, encourage your child to have friends from a variety of places - school, after school activities, church, scouts, park district programs, etc. This will help your child to feel less isolation if they are struggling socially in one place as they will know they have other friends in other places.

Acceptance

All children should be accepted unconditionally. Parents and caregivers who are non-judgemental, do not compare their children to others, accept them as who they are, despite any misbehavior or any physcial and mental disabilities, will provide their children with a sense of security. Acceptance means a lot to a child and they need to be reminded just how special and important they are, this will help build self-esteem. Children need to hear that they are worthy of love. Remember to always give love with no strings attached, show love and acceptance through your daily expressions of affection, care and concern, spend time together - play, work and relax together, show that you feel good about them by hugging them, tell them often, "I like what you did/said" and "I love you."

Attention

Children love attention from their parents. If the children have enough attention/quality time with the adult, many behavorial problems and instances of acting out may be reduced. Sometimes children misbehave to get attention from parents. Children prefer negative attention (e.g., scolding, punishment) to no attention (being neglected or ignored). It is advisable for parents to set aside some time to have some activities to communicate your love with your children. A parent's availabilty gives importance and self-worth to children. When parents give undivided attention to their children, they will feel loved. For instance, engage in some bonding activites (e.g., memory games, imagery games, role-playing and so on) whenever the opportunity presents itself. Reading stories to your children before bed is a great time to bond. Do your best to give attention to your child to fulfill their emotional needs.

Accountability

Children will feel good that their parents trust them and count on them. They will learn how to take responsiblity for their actions, how to make good choices about their behavior, and face outcomes from their choices. Holding children accountable also helps develop their sense of responsiblity and acknowledgement of consequences to their actions. For example, if a child spills his water on the floor, the ideal response is for him to ask his mother to clean it up, and her to acknowledge he is responsible by giving him a rag to clean. By her showing her appreciation to her child's efforts to clean up the mess, the child learns that he is responsible to face the consquences of his action. If the mother punishes the child too severly or cleans up the mess for him, he is not learning appropriate consequences. Parents should be quick to praise the character and quality of their children and reward good behavior.